Introducing Purple Sheets. Stretchiest, Comfiest, Bamboo Sheets Ever.

Story: Your sheets, cheap or expensive, are ruining your life. I’m just kidding, that’s a little bit too far, but they are making your bed less comfortable. That’s why I got Purple Sheets. Purple® Bed Sheets are soft, strong, stretchy. because these sheets are just… If you don’t wake up each morning feeling like you wrestled with a grizzly bear then you’re sleeping in the wrong kind of sheets. I’m a flannel man. Lies peasant, lies! Only Egyptian cotton with thread count so high the number cease to have meaning offer the finest form of slumber.

Come again! Sleeping with flannel is like having typhoid fever without the chance of death. It’s so hot, it wraps you in spree arms and bleeds the sweat right out of ya. It’s so rugged it covers ya in manly rashes. Wash ’em out, Rockets! Imagine… sleeping on it hippogriff, the wind in your face as you embrace and spoon a cloud… that’s cotton. Tough, tried–and–true, flannel does the job for you. Egyptian cotton is divine. Flannelllll! …ENOUGH! They’re bed sheets. You shouldn’t have to choose between sheets made from a high end bologna. My mom made me bologna all the time. Purple® Bed Sheets for the no-nonsense sleep better solution. For people who obsess over sheets, like me. Definitely me, but you as well! For people who don’t give a rat’s buttocks. Like him. Got ya. Other sheets suck the comfort soul right out of the mattress, by being too tight or too ridgid. It creates a drum over the bed that your body can’t conform to.

You don’t put bunny ears on a 4K T.V., do you? on your sweet mattress purple bed sheets maximize the comfort of your bag it’s the only bed sheet that’s made from bamboo fabric that’s also super stretchy it’s like a 1980’s superhero Oh my gosh, stop. Cut it, cut! Curtis, get out of here. Look at the competition. It’s rigid and stiff, and so very rigid. Oh man we’re talking stone tablets over here, okay. Look at Purple! Oh my gosh, look at the stretch here! You seeing this? Now are you looking at this? There’s so much stretch to it. Sometimes in my room, I like to sleep in a stretchy pants and these stretchy sheets. See the stretch? But look, Grizzly, Purple® Bed Sheets are durable without being uncomfortable or scratching. Shouldn’t have to feel like a high school dance when you go to bed. Did you know that Purple® Bed Sheets are sups breathable and airy? and super soft without being stiff and this heavy duty elastic band on the fitted sheet means that actually fit and stays on the mattress How sweet is that?! No more sheet battles.

Okay Okay Wow Can we nominate these for the Noble Sleep Prize? Wait a second. We’ve got it! I thought this would be bigger, but it’ll do. Purple® Bed Sheets are soft and strong, seamless, stretchy, cool, comfortable, and easy to clean all at the same time. Your sheets should unleash endless possibilities of comfort for your bed. If you have a bad and want unleash it, click here! Hello. Look at. Baby! Baby, baby oh!

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